Gov-in-a-box will solve all of your problems and everyone else’s! It’s the new miracle cure for a better world that’s been around since prehistory! You don’t even need to order it, you’ve already got one! Didn’t want one? Don’t be silly of course you do. It’s the best thing ever and always works, only a sub-human monkey-man wouldn’t want this, and we know you’re not one of those. We’d never dream of restricting your freedoms, that’s why you’ve got a choice of three (yes three!) interchangeable facades. You’ll never get bored! The choice is yours baby. You’re in control.
Just sit back, relax and pay no attention to how much money it’s costing you. Be cool. Don’t worry about money, dude. Life’s too short for all that worrying business. Get everything you want all the time with gov-in-a-box!
Gov-in-a-box comes with a lifetime guarantee*.
*Not a guarantee. If you’re not completely satisfied, then you must be mistaken. Gov-in-a-box is scientifically and common-sensically proven to work and is backed by a consensus of people much smarter than you. Do you see?